Wanted: winter snuggle buddy
Duration: 6 months (cold period)
Specifications: male, 23-28, smokey and buff
Experience and skills required:
Benefits: you may be offered breakfast in the morning, don’t count on it though.. I’m not a morning person
Warning: This is a seasonal position. The position will be terminated upon the arrival of summer.
So I decide to have a quiet night in at home with a block of chocolate and season 1 of Sex and the City.
Neighbours are in a domestic, cricket bats to dentures.. something about power being cut.. flat tyres on a bike. then the red and blue flashing lights of a cop car.
3 hours of a drunken scrag yelling something along the lines of.. “your going to jail.. you f*ing this.. you f*ing that.. rah rah rah”
*Talking to my boss Di about New Years Eve*
DI: So what are you doing for NYE love?
ME: ehh.. nothing much new years isn’t really my thing, its a whole lot of fuss for an average night out, i’ll probably just do what I did last year and go to the bowlo for a bit, then go home before the countdown to watch a Disney movie on tv
DI: Yeah if you went out you’d probably kiss someone and come home with some sort of chest infection.. or herpes.